Tuesday, January 12, 2010

There's a toilet on my driveway.

1.  There's a toilet sitting on my driveway.  It's been there for two days.  It is ecru.

2. One day when I came home from work, I found that my bored and out of work 19-year-old son had folded ALL of the family laundry, including my big fat granny panties.  Mom underwear. Ugh. 

3. Before Christmas we bought a wedge of Brie, and we haven't been able to find it.  It's not in either fridge.  I fear it's in a car or in a cupboard. 

4. There is a fibreglass shower stall in my living room.  It has been there two days.  It is white.  I feel that there is a connection between it and the toilet in the driveway.

5. One day about a year ago, I found a partially eaten waffle in my mailbox.  The bite mark was ringed with jam.  We don't eat our waffles that way in my family.  Therefore, I have to conclude that the waffle came from an outsider.  Or the mail carrier.

6. Our cat, Milo, learned to pee in the toilet (not the one in the driveway) entirely by watching my husband and son use the toilet.  He does not stand on his hind legs to do it, however.  He developed his own technique.

7. One night, several years ago, when everyone was sleeping, my husband was awakened by a noise in the house.  He got up to investigate, creeping down to the family room, where the noise was coming from.
He flicked on the lights and yelled, "What the f*** is going on in here!". 
There, on the couch, was our 15-year-old daughter and her 15-year old boyfriend. 
They were sitting up, talking.
My husband sleeps in the nude.
That boyfriend didn't last.  Wimp.

8. I will post pictures of items 1 and 4 tomorrow.   The rest I will leave to your imaginations.



Jacqueline Korteland Boller said...

Are you getting your bathroom remodeled??

I have enough visions in my head of your husband swinging...hmmmmm...;)

Deborah said...

That cackling sound you hear, faintly, is me. I could not contain myself when I got to the waffle, not knowing there was better to come. Oh Dave. My imagination skittered away, but not before the boyfriend fled out the door.
Thank you for this, my excellent cousin Kath. I don't laugh enough over here and were it not for you...

Kathryn said...

Yes, and heh heh heh....
We must do something about that. For me, laughter is like oxygen. Necessary, heady.
We must also work on your sense of home. When I say we, I mean you, Pierre, and the blogging community.
Especially those who are at home everywhere or not at home anywhere.
They have insights. Fascinating insights.
Kath : )

Christine said...

If the toilet stays on the drive too long I would plant something in it. Peas come to mind

Kathryn said...

I'm a new reader (& LOVE your name! LOL).

Oh, this post had me laughing so hard the cats came to see what was up!

Thank you. :)

Kathryn said...

I'm thinking of making yellow jellow in it, and embedding an "Oh Henry" bar. Mature, eh?

Kathryn (Love your name too!),
If I've made you laugh, then my work here is done! ; )