1. There's a toilet sitting on my driveway. It's been there for two days. It is ecru.
2. One day when I came home from work, I found that my bored and out of work 19-year-old son had folded ALL of the family laundry, including my big fat granny panties. Mom underwear. Ugh.
3. Before Christmas we bought a wedge of Brie, and we haven't been able to find it. It's not in either fridge. I fear it's in a car or in a cupboard.
4. There is a fibreglass shower stall in my living room. It has been there two days. It is white. I feel that there is a connection between it and the toilet in the driveway.
5. One day about a year ago, I found a partially eaten waffle in my mailbox. The bite mark was ringed with jam. We don't eat our waffles that way in my family. Therefore, I have to conclude that the waffle came from an outsider. Or the mail carrier.
6. Our cat, Milo, learned to pee in the toilet (not the one in the driveway) entirely by watching my husband and son use the toilet. He does not stand on his hind legs to do it, however. He developed his own technique.
7. One night, several years ago, when everyone was sleeping, my husband was awakened by a noise in the house. He got up to investigate, creeping down to the family room, where the noise was coming from.
He flicked on the lights and yelled, "What the f*** is going on in here!".
There, on the couch, was our 15-year-old daughter and her 15-year old boyfriend.
They were sitting up, talking.
My husband sleeps in the nude.
That boyfriend didn't last. Wimp.
8. I will post pictures of items 1 and 4 tomorrow. The rest I will leave to your imaginations.
WHEELS. OFF. BUS.
5 hours ago