Why I am going crazy

Several reasons for why I'm going crazy. Not all I can share in detail, but some I can.

(This is a flower from a pot on my deck. I think the flowers are trying to communicate with me. This one screams "Good morning!", doesn't it?)

1. There is cat vomit on my carpet. A new batch every day, it seems. One blob, in particular, looks a little like Elvis! Not sure whether to clean this one up or sell it on Ebay.

(This flower looks like Lucille Ball. "Ricky, Ricky!", she's calling....)

2. My son called me at home, from his cell phone, to ask when supper would be ready.

The punchline? He was calling from his bedroom. It took me a full minute to understand that he was, in fact, phoning me from inside my own house. (Kind of like those atrocious horror movies from the 80's where the babysitter finally figures out that the killer is ALREADY INSIDE THE HOUSE!)

Once the light bulb went on in my addled brain, and my mouth stopped flapping silently like a fish out of water, I was able to suggest that perhaps he could walk to the kitchen and ask me in person next time. If it wouldn't be too much trouble.

(These guys ar walking towards me, like zombies! See their little legs?

Creepy.)

3. A customer at work phoned me, and reamed me out, because I did not read his mind.

Really! This led to another episode of me staring at the phone trying to comprehend what was happening, and spending a few seconds doing the fish-mouth thing again.

Much later, after a blunt phone call back from my dear husband to aforementioned customer, and then an apologetic phone call from customer to me, I have developed a slight uneasiness around the phone. Trouble is - I have to answer the darned thing about 200 times per day.

Who will it be? Will they be mad at me? Will they want supper? Are they already in the building?

(This one looks like a pink elephant. See his ears? His trunk?

Apparently he's just gotten out of the shower.)

4. The nasturtiums are taking over the world!

(I think they ate the cat)

I need a vacation.