Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Flowers - they talk to me...

Howdy!  Mah name's Coral.  Coral Nasturtium.  Ahs a been growin and growin, fit to bustin out all over.
Ahs a bin soakin up that there rain and suckin it right up mah stem, ah have.  Gits so a girl caint suck up no more rain without showin' off her pistils n stamens n such.  Never thought ah'd see the day when ah would open up mah petals just as easy as yuh please, n let all n sundry see mah insides n such.  Ah feels kinda funny bout that. Still, it seems all the uther gals 'round here are doin' it.  Guess ah'm no better nor worse than the rest of'm....

What's that yer sayin? Yuh wants ta friend me on Facebook?  What the hell's Facebook? That one o them naughty sites where gals lift their petals and wave their dad gum pollen around?  No sirree, ah aint a goin' ta expose mahself ta that there cow poop.  ah jest aint that kind a flower.
Mumble, mumble mumble.... 
Now take mah cousin Arleen.  Arleen Fuschia.  Now SHE would do anythin ta git herself some more attention.  Flippin back her petals and stickin her parts way out.  Shameless she is! Shameless!
Go on, ask HER ta go on that there Facebook naughty cow poop site.  Oh Arleeeeeeen.....


What? Whaddya want Coral?  Quit yellin at me - ah'm tryin ta get me a suntan.  Jezebel? Who'r you callin a jezebel?  Why you little nasturtium.....ah hope a little ol slug climbs all over you, ah surely do.
Sheepdip. 

7 comments:

loveable_homebody said...

Hilarious. This is JUST how a flower would talk. This is my favourite part: "Gits so a girl caint suck up no more rain without showin' off her pistils n stamens n such."

Something tells me a rose wouldn't talk like that...

Deborah said...

Two posts in one day??? This is not the kind of exercise you were referring to in the last one, methinks.

Oh what a bent mind you have. And oh how I love it.

I agree with loveable honebody about that line. Fabulous.

In fact, YOU are fabulous.

Christine said...

Kathryn you completely crack me up, and you are right, that fuchsia is a total tramp, but I think that the (s)trumpet daffodils are worse ;D

DJan said...

Obviously, you know some of those flowers intimately, and you also know the lingo, got it down pat. I truly enjoyed listening to the flowers rant, Thanks!

Kathryn said...

Thanks all,
I honestly see faces in these flowers (don't really hear voices, you'll be relieved to know).
Nasturtiums are so easy to grow - they do really well on my deck.
More flower photos will follow; I just love the colour.

Jacqueline Korteland Boller said...

What'cha drinking, Kathryn? Some strong flower nectar?? LOL!!

Jo said...

Gorgeous...! Reminds me of the flowers in "Alice in Wonderland". Nasturtiums are my favorite flowers. I would love to do a little watercolor painting of this flower. :-)