Sunday, August 23, 2009

A trip to Canadian Tire

Howdy all,
Dave and I went to Canadian Tire today. What is Canadian Tire?, you ask.
How can I describe it? Basically, it's a House of Worship for all agnostic Canadians, a just a darned great place to go for all the other Canadians.
It started out as a TIRE store for gosh sakes. Hence the name.
Then.............they diversified!
You start your trip into Canadian Tire (or Crappy Tire, as many people call it, not because the tires are crappy, but because we Canadians have a weird sense of humour and have to put down our Canadian Institutions. It's really a term of endearment. Trust me. Just like we call Tim Horton's "Timmy Ho's", but I'll leave that for another day)

Back to Crappy Tire:
First you go through a shiny chrome turnstile. Whee!
Then, you glide past the credit kiosk, trying not to make eye-contact with the person who tries to get you to sign up for a Canadian Tire credit card. (We already have one, thanks!)

Once past the quagmire of the credit kiosk one is free to wander at will.
In our case Dave immediately took off for the tool section, while I shot off in the other direction toward the housewares, patio furniture, and handy gadgets areas.
I contemplated the coffee makers and crock pots, delighted in the dishes, marvelled at the mugs, prognosticated at the plastic containers, hemmed and hawed at the home decor section, and ruminated over a rack of spices! Picked up item number one: a bag of Masala Spice mix (the recipe on the back looked interesting).

A little later I leaped into the lighting section and ogled the Ott Lights. Anyone who is a stitcher knows what an Ott light is, but for those of you who don't - it's a light with a full spectrum or daylight bulb in it. I stopped to bow in adoration at the version that folds up, but couldn't justify buying it. Ott lite, I'll be back for you someday. Wait for me!

As I left the lighting section I rounded a corner and was nearly mown down by a large man pushing a buggy at breakneck speed. It was my husband!
"Looking for toilet paper", he announced purposefully, and whizzed past me into sections unknown.
I glimpsed two boxed office chairs in the buggy before he disappeared from sight.
After a lot more browsing I realized that I had lost Dave completely, so I whipped out my handy cell phone and called him!

Him: Hello?
Me: It's me! Where are you?
Him: (Tersely) I'm in automotive, waiting for them to put more (effing) tire gauges out.
(Dave is passionate about tire gauges)
Me: Well, I'm happy to browse some more, so just phone me if you can't find me!
Him: OK. They're out of (effing) toilet paper too, those slimy dogs!
Me: Oh dear! They've lured us here under false pretences. TP in the sales flyer, but none on the shelves!
Him: We'll have to get it some other (effing) place.
Me: (In soothing tones) I'm sure we'll find it at Safeway. Why don't you go to your happy place and get yourself a new screwdriver or something?
Him: (Somewhat mollified) Well maybe. I had my mind set on that (effing) TP. Double rolls.
Me: I know. They have no right to treat us this way. I'm going to go and buy a spatula.
Him: OK. Bye.

I wandered to the kitchen ware section and speculated on a spatula. Settled on a nifty number with blue silicon paddle and eco-friendly splintery wooden handle.
Wiggled the wooden spoons and nearly chose a cherry wood one, but left it for another day. After all, a new spatula and a package of Masala spice mix should be enough for anyone, right?

Eventually found Dave getting ready to head for the checkout. Cart full of aforementioned desk chairs, a handcart dolly thing, a few tire gauges (how many do we need? Is he buying them as stocking stuffers?), several packages of paper towels (in lieu of TP?), and a chopping knife.

Quickly seizing the opportunity I grabbed a bag of chili-lime pistachio nuts and a package of Voortman's Almond crunch cookies that were in the impulse section next to the batteries and Bic lighters.

What a haul!
Trundled home, and Dave put away his beloved paper towels in the space left by our decimated TP collection. Must get some TP somewhere! Meanwhile I put together one of the office chairs for my craft room, and am now resting my right arm, which is sore from screwing in the (effing) bolts to hold the thing together.

Hope everyone had as good a day as we did!
Kathryn : )


Deborah said...

The House of Worship!! Right on! Thanks for my morning uplift, Kath.

Annz said...

Hahaha I think I nearly lost it at your phone conversation!
Gregg moves out and gets to stay with family that enjoys common use of the word effing and a love for TP, while I move out and get spiritual self-help vegan hippies...not fair I say!

Kathryn said...

Well Annz,
You could always come out here and visit us at chez Sudul. After having had Gregg here the tall jokes are all used up so we will treat you like one of the rest of us.

Richard said...

Kath, you have a very clever, self-deprecating sense of humour. And you have Dave, right down to a T. Very funny,indeed.