Conversations with Customers

Telephone: Ring Ring!

Me (middle-aged world-weary wife of Motorcycle shop owner): SuperSport!

Customer: (young male, talking on cell phone while driving, arghhh) Hi,  I'm going down Fraser Highway, heading to Route 10.  Do I turn right or left?

Me: that would depend on which direction you're coming from.  Are you heading North or South?

Customer: Ummmm.....

Me: (slowly and clearly) are you heading for the mountains or the States?

Customer: (pause, then triumphantly) the States!

Me: OK, you're heading south.  When you get to Route 10, turn East.

Customer: so....right or left?

Me: East would be towards Ontario, and West would be towards the ocean. So....?

Customer: so drive towards Ontario?

Me: Yes, but stop a few thousand miles before you get there.

Customer: (totally missing my pithy humour) Ok, are you on the right or left on Route 10?

Me: We're on the North side.  That would be towards the mountains! 

Customer: Ummm. OK, I'm almost there.

Me: What are you hoping to find once you get here?  Which part do you need?

Customer:  I have a 1998 blah blah blah (name of motorcycle) and I need a side cover.

Me: right or left?

Customer: when I'm facing the bike or sitting on the bike?

Me: There is only one left and one right on a motorcycle.  Does your left hand change to your right hand if your friend is sitting on your shoulders and then he gets off to look at you?

Customer: (long pause, deep thought) Ummmm....no?

Me: so which sidecover do you need?

Customer: Ummmm....North?