Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cat vs. Dog: a Christmas Tale

Cast of characters:
1. 10-year old resident cat. 

2. 10-MONTH old visiting dog. Still a puppy, really.

3. Litter box.  To the cat, it's a toilet.

Sequence of events:

1. Cat lives here.  Cat is King!
2. Daughter and son-in-law bring dog over for Christmas visit.  Dog is interloper!
3. Cat is dignified and regal.
4. Dog is goofy.
5. Cat watches dog from strategic vantage point.
6. Dog innocently wanders past, oblivious to cat.
7. Cat CHASES Dog.
8. People react and yell.  Chaos ensues.
9. Dog is caught and held.  Dog is scared.
10 Cat is chased away and given a little spanking.
11. Cat stomps off to kitchen and eats some of dog's food.
12. Dog is oblivious.
13. Time passes.
14. Humans eat Christmas dinner. Yum.
15. Cat digests dog food.
16. Cat visits litter box, leaving massive and pungent treasure due to unaccustomed dog food.
17. Humans sit around, semi comatose from Christmas dinner.
18. Dog walks past previously unnoticed litter box.
19. Dog decides that litter box is some sort of Christmas BUFFET.
20. Dog reaches in and grabs (with paw? mouth? who knows?) large and succulent cat poo.
21. Dog puts cat poo on small carpet in front of litter box.
22. Dog ROLLS on massive squishy yummy cat poo.
23. Dog rubs face in same. Arf Arf Arf this is wonderful.
24. Man of the house notices dog behaving weirdly in utility room and suggests that son-in-law see what's up.
25. Son-in-law waves off dad-in-law.  Son in law says dog is just playing with 'something'
26. Odor of flattened, smeared, cat poo wafts into family room.
27. A nanosecond passes.
28. !?!
29. Men spring off couch; men yell; dog jumps up from mat; dog runs around scared; men catch dog.
30. Dog is temporarily tied to front door.
31. Daughter comes running from other room to find dog smeared in poo and tied to front door.
32. Daughter drags dog to bathroom.

33. Dog has unexpected Christmas bath.  Dog is not thrilled.

34. Cat sits on Christmas village, in triumph.

35. Cat 1; Dog 0. Merry Christmas!


viv said...

Too funny. So that's how you bathe a big dog.

DJan said...

Cats are smart, dogs are suckers. It's a GREAT story, I loved it! :-)

Christine said...

ROFL! That was funny on vsc, its even funnier on here with pictures! Cats definitely rule.

Friko said...

Poor dog; how can they ever get the better of a sneaky cat.

Kathryn said...

Actually, I like dogs, and I like this dog, in particular. Poor thing; he was scared.
The cat in question is normally the most loving, mushy, gentle cat. I guess having a clueless puppy over was just too much. I wish we had a dog too, but maybe when we're retired and can spend lots of time with it....
We threw the small carpet away.

Deborah said...

Ahahahaha!!! I love this scenario. How boring and uneventful our lives would be without puppies and kitties, especially together. Noa likes to eat cat poo, too. I would have thought it would be an acquired taste...

Bonnie said...

Son-in-law? I feel like I missed something!

Anonymous said...

funnier than the first time I heard it!
A in A.