Saturday, October 9, 2010


Canadian Thanksgiving is this Monday.  We're having our dinner on Sunday, like a lot of people do.
This year I've been hearing a lot about a "delicacy" called a Turducken, which is a deboned chicken stuffed inside a deboned duck stuffed inside a deboned turkey.  Who thinks of these things?

I've been thinking that we could do this in a big game version: a deer stuffed into an elk stuffed into a caribou stuffed into a moose.  Delkiboose.  If it's good enough for birds, then it's good enough for mammals, eh?
In other news, it's been a slow day here at work.  Out of 18 phone calls, 14 were from Dave's friend Lloyd.
When I see his name on call display I'm tempted to answer as some other business.
How about, "Alzheimers Pizza!  May I take your order again?"
The other day it was just Dave and me here.  No customers.  For some reason we decided to see if we could name a disease for every letter of the alphabet.

Asthma! he shouted.

Botulism!, I countered.

C-C-C-Cardiac Arrest! he said.
That's not a disease, that's an event, I said

Diabetes!, he said, ignoring me.

Then, it happened.  That perfect synchronization that can happen between couples that have been married a long time.  That merging of the minds. That pairing of souls....

Erectile Dysfunction! we chimed, simultaneously.

We basked in the glow of this for a few seconds, then resumed.

F-F-F Flatulence!  I said, after some thought.

I knew you'd say that, he said.

Hirsutism! I trumpeted, then wondered if this means that my legs are officially diseased...

I-I-I....he gasped
I-I-I...(deep thought)
I-I-I've got to go and do some work!

...and just like that, as mysteriously as he came,
he was gone.

Back to work, leaving me groping for a disease starting with J.

and THIS is why I haven't blogged in a while.  It's all trivial around here.


Deborah said...


Methinks there's something Freudian about the fact that it didn't pop into your collective heads.

DJan said...

Ohhhhh, this was funny! I guess it was you watching all those reruns of The Office that has stained your mind and caused you to write this. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, witty one!

Christine said...

Couldn't type this on VSC but I'm not sure about the idea of a turduckhen myself, pretty sure I could never get my family to eat anything with "turd" in the name

Heidi said...

Hello Canadian Funny Person. I'm sorry I missed your October post--anxiously waiting for your November one. I LOVE the disease alphabet--also the irreverent salute to the Turduckhen (which seems wrong in so many ways). ALTHOUGH--we American Yoopers stuff a turkey with bits of a pig. Top that! ;-)

20th Century Woman said...

I'm going to be awake all night trying to think of a disease that starts with J.

Richard said...

Jock Itch

Annz said...

hahaha your conversations with cousin Dave make me wish I was out West all the more. All we've got out here in Alberta is Jaywalking.